Self Absorption at Discount Prices.: "Forever Alone" Is Stupid
It’s like daring the universe to keep you from achieving happiness for the rest of your life. “If I say this out loud, there’s no way it’ll ACTUALLY come true, right?” Fuck you. The universe doesn’t owe you shit. You don’t have to go out and The Secret your way through life, loudly proclaiming, “I deserve to be happy” in the vitamin aisle at Whole Foods, but you also don’t have to take pictures of your Hot Pockets and write about how you’re in love with your TV.
Aloneness shouldn’t be a movement, or a meme. If you like being alone, fucking own it. Read all the books in the world, and do it without audibly saying that you’re doing it as a substitute for human companionship. That’s a cop out. Don’t get in a wedding dress (or tux) and get a marriage license for you and your cat. Unless the justice of the peace is a puppy, and then all bets are off.
Everyone spends time by themselves here and there. Some take a lot of time between relationships, some take a lot of time to start dating at all, and some never do. But most of them have the good sense not to define themselves via other people. And it might be funny to talk about all the “Pizza for One” you eat, or how you walk around with Cheez It crumbs in your cleavage because the only human you interact with all weekend is the delivery guy, but it’s really transparently covering up the fact that you are lonely. And you don’t have to make your whole life/persona/mental state into a sad sub-Liz Lemon joke because of it.
Also, go outside every now and then. That’s where a lot of the people are.
